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The Secret to Sounding Confident Pt.1

Updated: Jul 19, 2021

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. - Tony Robbins

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’ve needed to speak on the spot? Whether it’s an unexpected question in your IG post comments, or a last minute call to talk at an event, there’s nothing quite like the sinking feeling of knowing you have to speak up without preparation.

Even if you are well-versed on the topic and have the presentation skills to keep a smile, there’s no doubt that speaking on the spot can strike nerves in the best of us. Regardless of the situation, things are guaranteed to happen, and not always according to plan.

Mastering the secret to sounding confident will prepare you to speak on the spot when needed! It's a two part strategy, and Part 1 is all about getting your self-talk right.

The Secret to Sounding Confident - Part 1: Self Talk

Before you can speak well to others, you need to speak well to YOURSELF.

Positive self talk allows you to recognise, validate and apply your full potential to all that you are and do. Also called affirmations (to make something firm), positive self talk will reflect outwards and improve the confidence of all your communication.

There's three things to keep in mind when adjusting your self-talk:

  1. Think Present. Use the present tense, deal with what exists today. Don’t try to change the past, but focus on new things. Give yourself permission to believe the idea is true right now.

  2. Think Positive. Speak to what you DO want, rather than affirming what you don’t want.

  3. Think Personal. Self talk must relate to YOU and you only. These are YOUR dreams, hopes and aspirations. Don’t allow these to be cluttered by the pressures of the media, work, or even family and friends.

Let's illustrate this with a story...

A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three remaining hairs on her head, and being a positive soul, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she braided her three hairs, and she had a great day.

Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her day, she saw that she had only two hairs remaining. "Hmm, two hairs... I fancy a center parting today." She duly parted her two hairs, and as ever, she had a great day.

A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left on her head. "One hair huh...," she mused, "I know a pony-tail will be perfect." And again she had a great day.

The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was completely bald.

"Finally bald huh," she said to herself, "How wonderful! I won't have to waste time doing my hair anymore..."

Writing Self-Talk Affirmations

If self talk is new to you, it’s a great start to think about the things that are wonderful about you! Here’s some examples:

  • I have someone I love, and we enjoy spending time together.

  • I am a mother or father and fulfilled in this role

  • My career is challenging and fulfilling.

  • When I learn something new, I feel proud.

  • When I feel pain, I love, and I strive to survive. I am a strong and resilient person.

There are no “right” answers in writing your self-talk affirmations. The important thing is that negativity is re-framed into positive thinking, and that you are adjusting your self-talk accordingly.


In the words of Tony Robbins, the way we communicate with ourselves and others ultimately determines the quality of our lives.

The secret to sounding confident begins with the way that you speak to yourself. Once you've written your self-talk affirmations, try repeating them to yourself in the mirror or writing them in a prominent place in your workspace. Live with these statements and bring them to the forefront of your mind.

This positive self-talk will reflect outwards and improve the confidence of all your communication!

Join us at an upcoming workshop to learn more about this strategy! We would love to help you apply this skill to improve your personal and professional communication. We have a breakfast, a lunch and a sundowner coming up, register below:

Breakfast event Friday 23 July:

Lunch event Thursday 29 July:

Sundowner event Wednesday 4 August:

The Secret to Sounding Confident Pt2

Special Thanks

Special thanks to Kyle Spyrides for the beautiful imagery in this post! You can find him here:

Soul Gazing Photography

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