That Task You Keep Avoiding Is Trying to Tell You Something

There’s a task that has been sitting on my list for two weeks.

I know exactly what it is. I know it probably won’t even take that long. I’ve opened the document at least four times.

And every single time, I’ve stared at it for about ninety seconds, felt something unpleasant crawl up from the keyboard, and closed it again.

Very productive. Extremely executive. Five stars.

The funny thing is, I’m not bad at my work. I do care (too much, most days!). I know that I know the thing needs to be done.

I just didn’t want to feel whatever came up when I opened it.

That’s the bit we don’t talk about enough with procrastination.

Most of the time, it isn’t laziness. It isn’t that you need a better planner, another productivity app, or a colour-coded Notion board. If I see another ad for an AI tool to solve this, I might just scream.

This is what I've found: It’s usually emotional avoidance that's really to blame.

I ran a group coaching session on this recently, and in my research for the session I discovered some points that really resonate. I wanted to share them, so you can stop beating yourself up and start asking better questions.

The thing we get wrong

We treat procrastination like a character flaw.

I’m lazy.

I need more discipline.

Why can’t I just do the thing?

Nothing like insulting yourself into peak performance.

There's a great TED Talk by Dr Fuschia Sirois, who has studied procrastination for years, and she frames it as an emotion regulation issue. We often avoid tasks because of how they make us feel.

The task might bring up boredom.

Anxiety.

Self-doubt.

Resentment.

Confusion.

The fear of doing it badly.

The dread of starting because the whole thing feels too big and ridiculous, like trying to fold a fitted sheet (they aren't made to fold, I cannot turn this thing into a square!).

And when your brain hits an uncomfortable feeling, it does what brains are designed to do. It moves you away from the discomfort.

So you check your inbox.

You pair your socks.

You do the six easier things first.

You tell yourself you’ll get to it when you’re “in the right headspace,” which is often code for “when I've had 8 hours sleep, a morning workout, protein for breakfast and have become a different woman.”

The annoying part is that avoidance works.

For a minute.

You close the document and instantly feel better. That tiny hit of relief teaches your brain, “Excellent. We survived. Let’s do that again next time.”

And now you’ve got a pattern.

So instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” try asking:

What is this task making me feel? And why?

That question is much more useful.

Not all stuck is the same stuck.

This is where it gets practical.

When I’m working with people who are stuck in their career, their job search, their next move, or some horrible admin task that has become Mt Everest, I usually see three different things happening.

1. Capacity

Sometimes you genuinely do not have the space.

You’re exhausted. You’re underwater. You’ve got too many deadlines, too many people needing things from you, not enough sleep, and a nervous system running on coffee.

That isn’t procrastination.

That’s a capacity issue.

The answer is not “try harder.” The answer is to look at what has to shift, what can wait, what can be delegated, and what conversation needs to happen.

Because if everything is urgent, congratulations, nothing is. The whole system has become a clown car.

2. Clarity

Sometimes the task is too vague.

“Update my resume.”

“Sort out my career direction.”

“Figure out what I want.”

No wonder your brain refuses. Those aren’t tasks. They’re vibes.

Your brain needs something concrete.

Open the resume.

Find the latest version.

Add the current role title.

Write three dot points under the current role.

That’s a task.

“Sort out my entire professional identity while panicking about the future” is not a task, and I'd avoid that too!

3. Avoidance

Then there’s the one we all love to pretend isn’t happening.

You know what to do.

You technically have the time.

You are still not doing it.

That’s where the feeling underneath matters.

Maybe you’re scared you’ll do it badly.

Maybe you’re resentful that you have to do it at all.

Maybe it reminds you of something bigger, like being undervalued, overlooked, or stuck in a job you’ve outgrown.

Maybe you’re avoiding the task because finishing it means you’ll have to take the next step, and the next step feels enormous.

So name the feeling.

Then make the starting point so small your brain has no room to dodge it.

Five minutes.

Open the document.

Write one sentence.

Find the file.

Send one email.

That’s it.

Starting is usually the hardest part. Once you’ve started, the task becomes less terrifying because it stops being a monster under the bed and becomes something you can chip away at, one step at a time.

Still annoying, sure. But manageable. And every step you take helps the next one become clear.

The part I keep thinking about

A recent client talked about a task she kept avoiding.

And every session, she still hadn't done the thing.

Her to-do list had become so long and vague that her brain had basically packed a bag and left the premises.

Every time she opened the document, she felt that low-grade dread. Then she closed it. Then she told herself some version of, “What is wrong with me?”

Nothing was wrong with her.

She needed to diagnose the actual problem.

Was it capacity?

Was it clarity?

Was it avoidance?

Because each one needs a different solution.

I see this all the time with EAs and admin professionals.

People who haven’t updated their resume in years because they never needed to, and now the market has shifted and they have no idea where to start.

People who know they’ve outgrown their role, but the question of “what next?” feels too big and shapeless.

Working mums who keep pushing their job search to the bottom of the list because it requires something they do not currently have: sustained, uninterrupted thought. A mythical creature. Possibly extinct.

The task itself is not always the problem.

Sometimes the problem is that no one has helped you work out what the task actually is.

What I do

This is where my work helps you.

A Career Advisory session gives you one hour to stop circling the same problem and actually untangle it.

We look at what’s going on for you, specifically.

What’s stuck.

What’s unclear.

What you’re avoiding.

What needs to happen next.

No “just believe in yourself” nonsense. We are adults. We have emails and mortgages and school lunches to pack.

We get practical.

If you’ve been opening the same document and closing it again, or thinking about your next career move until your brain starts making dial-up internet noises, that’s exactly what a session is for.

It’s 60 minutes.

It’s $297.

Most people walk out knowing exactly what to do next.

You can book here: https://calendly.com/trinity-james/career-coaching-session?back=1

What’s the task you keep avoiding?

Drop it in the comments.

Trinity

Trinity James is a Career Coach, founder of Views Professional Development and the APAC Lead for EA How To — a professional development membership for Executive Assistants across the globe.