You Didn’t Lose Your Confidence, You Outgrew the Room

There’s a type of self-doubt that I've been noticing a lot lately.

It’s a different one, and difficult to label, because it’s one that only shows up AFTER you’ve been incredibly capable.

It doesn’t come from failure, this one happens when the place you’re in stops reflecting who you are.

When your skills are no longer recognised or used.

When your environment no longer matches your capacity.

Let me give you an example.

The first time it happened to me personally, was in a transition period where I moved from the city back to my little home town.

I went from a glossy, high-trust role in Sydney where my judgement was valued, my ideas were wanted, and my skills were encouraged to grow... into a role where none of that mattered.

Same brain.

Same ability.

Same drive and ambition and capability to deliver.

And yet there I was, second guessing myself over basic decisions I used to make with one hand on my keyboard and the other on my latte.

I hadn’t changed.

The room had.

And I’ve since learned this is one of the quietest, most damaging ways that capable people lose their confidence at work.

Not through failure.

But through compression.

What Compression Actually Is

Compression is what happens when:

Your skill set expands, but your role doesn’t.

Your ambition grows, but your environment stays stagnant,

You’re ready for more, but the people above you don’t see it

Or, like in my early example, when you try to shrink yourself to fit a role that you’ve already outgrown.

You don’t shrink because you’re unqualified or under skilled, or even because you’re scared of making mistakes.

You shrink because the space you’re in stops stretching you.

You’re a big fish inside a tiny fishbowl, and instead of blaming the bowl, you turn it in on yourself.

It’s interesting and hard to spot, because in these situations confidence doesn’t die loudly. It disappears in tiny little negotiations you make with yourself for weeks, maybe even months:

“I’ll just keep my head down”

“It’s not worth pushing for”

“They probably know better”

“Maybe I’m not ready”

“Maybe I was never that good”

You didn’t break.

You adapted.

And now you lack confidence because you’re compressed.

The Little Ways Compression Shows Up

In another interesting twist, I notice over and over again that it’s the most capable people that can’t recognise the signs especially when they're in the midst of it.

They blame themselves before they ever think to blame the environment. Saying things like:

I don’t know why I’m always doubting myself

I feel less competent, even though I’m working harder than ever

My boss doesn’t trust me with responsibilities anymore

I used to be the go-to person… now I feel invisible.

You might notice it showing up in ways like:

Speaking up less

Overthinking more

Hiding your ideas

Waiting for permission

Lowering the bar on what you expect

Staying somewhere long after you know its not working

None of this is incompetence.

It’s compression.

A capable mind with nowhere to go naturally starts turning inward, chewing on itself.

What I Notice About This In My Clients

I see this every week. Brilliant, strategic, experienced people who think they’ve “lost their confidence.”

No.

They’ve outgrown their environment.

When your environment no longer reflects your strengths, you start looking internally for the problem. And your brain will always find something.

If your boss doesn’t trust you,

If they micromanage,

If they don’t delegate meaningful work

If they keep you boxed into low-value, tick the box tasks…

Your confidence will collapse as a result of the environment you are in.

You cannot feel powerful in a role that won’t let you be powerful.

You Don’t Lose Your Confidence All At Once

It goes slowly.

One compromise at a time.

One silenced idea at a time.

One moment of 'letting it go' instead of speaking up.

Waiting for that opportunity that never arrives.

And then one day you wake up and think:

When did I become like this?

And the answer is: it’s a survival strategy.

How to Know If It’s You, Or Your Environment

Ask yourself honestly:

Are you trusted with decisions that matter?

Are you growing, or just coping?

Are you used for your potential, or just your convenience?

When you show initiative, is it welcomed or shut down?

When was the last time someone said, “I know you are the perfect person for this project”?

If you hesitate, even slightly, you have your answer.

This isn’t a you problem.

This is a big fish in a small bowl.

What Gets Your Confidence Back

It's not journaling

Not cliche motivational quotes

Not manifesting

Not ‘lowering your expectations’

In my experience, confidence comes back when:

You’re trusted again

You are challenged and stretched again

You’re allowed (and encouraged) to operate at your real level

You are surrounded by people who see what you bring

Confidence is a relationship between you and your environment.

You can be extraordinary, but if the room only wants you to be small, you will eventually shrink.

That’s not a personal failure, it’s just truth.

The Truth No-one Seems To Want To Tell You

Sometimes, the next step in your career isn’t about learning more or working harder.

Sometimes the next step is simply saying:

‘This place can't hold who I’m becoming’.

You’re not underperforming - You’re under-utilised.

You’re not confused - You’re constrained.

You haven’t lost your confidence

You outgrew your environment, and your confidence went looking for oxygen.

And once you move into a space that matches your capability?

It comes back faster than you think 🩵

Let’s Talk

If any part of this story hit a nerve, send me a message or book a quick chat.

Sometimes one honest conversation is all it takes to start taking your power back.

I can't wait to hear your story next,

Trinity ☕️